I wish I could get a handle on my ridiculous fluctuating self-esteem. I know no-one has good self-esteem constantly, but y'know, I'd like something a little different from the rapid cycle between self-loathing, and thinking the sun shines out my own arse. I'm well well well aware neither is the actual case. I'm not that bad, I'm not brilliant either, but I just wanna plod along ok.
Things are getting better with A. Her behaviour is improving, she's actually gone to bed when asked, she has a cd on and I expect she'll be asleep before long (then I can catch up on the Gwaith/Cartref and River City I recorded earlier in the week).. She's still having some problems socialising, though I think part of that is the people she is around. Abbie's a fairly quiet child, definitely intelligent (she's picking up 3 languages off her own back), loves a good book and has a really expansive imagination, and doesn't really have much of an interest in pushing a doll around in a small pram, which seems to be the preferred thing of a lot of the children the same age as her around here.
She went to the local youth club, and was excluded from joining in with one group, and came home crying. I can understand her frustration, as she does try to mix, and when it doesn't work she gets frustrated and gives up. I've told her not to give up, next time she can always bring along something to play of her own, or just try and play with children different to the ones she was already playing with. In September she's re-starting at a new brownie pack, and will also be starting the Youth Club run by the church we attend.
I'm slowly slowly getting the flat together, I still need to finish filling in 1 corner of the lounge with paint, and I need to lay the lino I was kindly given in the kitchen. Then it's on to the bedrooms. For the places we'll often spend the largest amount of time we don't seem to have made much of an effort with them.
On a total other note, but quite amusing.. My Nan found the designs my ex had done for my wedding dress and the bridesmaids dress. Ughhhhhh lucky escape!!!