Friday, 14 December 2012

15 by 30

So, I've little over 18 months of my twenties left. I'm looking forward to leaving them behind. Excepting a couple of things they've pretty much sucked. But I'm trying to get them to end on a better note. So I've made a list of 15 things I want to do before I turn 30. 30 is a bit of a stretch. I might do another 15, or add more on as I get through these though.

1. Hit my goal weight.
I'm closer than I was, but I've still a weigh to go (pun totally intended. I know it should be way...)

2. Take Abbie to visit Wales.
(Ydym caru Cymru) We're hoping to visit somewhen in 2013

3. Sort out my flat.
18 months should be long enough

4. Play more boardgames.
They're fun fun fun

5. Improve my self-esteem.
I'm too old to hate myself as much as I do at the moment.

6. Be a better parent.
It's what my child and I deserve.

7. Work out what I'm doing with my life.
I feel like I'm not doing what I should be, but can't figure out exactly where I'm going wrong.

8.  Improve my health.
I shouldn't ache this much

9. Get serious about learning Welsh
Knowing a few odd phrases, and the lyrics to <i>Iechyd Da</i> doesn't count as learning. 18 months to be able to converse a little isn't too much to ask for right?!

10. Publish a zine.
Because I've only been trying since 2006. What's 8 years between friends?

11. Improve my French and German.
I love languages, Might as well brush up on the ones I've already learned, in addition to #9?

12. Sew myself a skirt, and Ms A a dress.
I have a sewing machine. I aught to use it.

13. Keep more up to date with my penpalling.
Because replying to letters from July in December is NOT a good look!

14. Read 30 books.
I have 11 bookshelves of books. I haven't read *SO* many. Need to get on that!

15. Make bunting for A's room, and mine too.
I've been planning it for months already. Get on with it self!

Sunday, 9 December 2012


Kicking in a few New Years Resolutions early.

Being more open to sociability. I don't need to lock myself away, and I don't *WANT* to. I want to get out. meet people, socialise, be a friendly person, and let people get to know me. I'm open enough online, but I find it hard in real life. If people don't like a certain aspect of me I find it fairly easy not to care, but to have people dislike the real me, I hate that. It's hard, and I know not everyone is always going to like me, and that life isn't always sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, but it's still hard.

So today I accepted compliients. I just said thank-you instead of telling people they were wrong. I felt so much better. I chatted to people who I don't really chat to usually. It was fantastic.

A little annoying that I've mislaid my damn bank-card. It's got to be somewhere, I'm sure I'll find it somewhen soon. If I haven't found it by tomorrow afternoon I'm going to report it missing. So PLEASE let it turn up.

Monday, 19 November 2012

Oh Bore Da!

Today I switched to online only weightwatchers. I've been doing it Since April, and have lost over 2 stone so far, but since I started work I've been unable to attend my usual meetings, and haven't clicked with the woman who runs the evening meetings, so decided to save myself £16 a month and switch to online only.

I've really cheered myself up by saving a bit of money.

I'm cheered up, that after 11 months the cat finally doesn't hate us. She actually voluntarily sat on me today! We had cuddles and scritches while watching Hollyoaks (both) and drinking tea (me).

I need to get so many things sorted in the next couple of days/the rest of this year. Life is going too fast and I can't keep up with it.


Sort out the last of the wardrobe/drawers/laundry mountain
Sort out which books want keeping and which will be going down the charity shop
Paint lounge and wallpaper feature wall.
Get Abbies' bedroom ready for repainting.
Buy sodding paintbrushes.

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Take Me As You Find Me

Days off can't be good for me. I do all this thinking stuff, and it makes my head hurt!!!

I'm feeling quite positive today. Visited my Grandmother, gave her a swan, and got a jumper in return. Nifty.

So in my last post I focussed on the bad things. Today I'm going to attempt to focus on positive stuff.

 We've had lovely weather. It's the middle of November, but I walked across town in a long sleeve top and cardigan today.

I don't feel so bogged down and bloated. So it's bread that effects me? Byebye white bread, hello pumpernickel bread! Cutting my dairy intake down to just the coffee I drink is helping.

I'm really enjoying reading again. Would you recommend me a book? I'm reading a Jenny Colgan novel right now. I'm not usually one for chick-lit, but this isn't banal like a lot of chick-lit I've inflicted on myself in the past. (Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop of Dreams). I've got a couple of books on the go right now. I've been reading Tove Jansson's fabulous "Tales from MoominValley" with A. (Who can resist the Moomins?)

I've been getting out the house. I went on a lovely walk with friends from church on Monday. An hour on the South Downs

Cold Combes

It was lovely to get out, have interesting discussions with friends about a number of issues in life. And the natural beauty that we're gifted with here in Sussex is amazing. I doubt I could live anywhere else. Though I'm hoping for some holidays. I want to take a walking holiday in Wales next year with A.

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Being a good person?

I'm trying to be a better person. Be honest, open, loving. It's hard, and I admit I struggle.

I feel like I can be quite selfish. Sometimes I resent being asked favours, which I really shouldn't, considering how many favours I'll ask from other people. I can be way too quick to snap at Abbie. She's only 7. A very grown up 7, but still only 7 nonetheless. I can be greedy, and unwilling to share. I can be negative sometimes.

If you know me IRL and catch me doing these things please tell me, I want to stop these attitudes.

I've been truly blessed with an amazing family, brilliant friends, I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, Even when I think I have "nothing" I have a LOT more than a lot of people in the world. I should remember this. A lot of people should.

I don't even know where I'm going with this blog post.... Erk.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Wow, November has treated us well so far.

Abbie and I were on television! We were filmed as we walked in one of the Bonfire Night Processions. Lewes is pretty famous for our Bonfire Night celebrations, so it's pretty amazing to find out that we'd made it onto the local news. Unfortunately we weren't able to see it ourselves, as it wasn't uploaded onto the website.

Though we are in this video. From 4 minutes 26 to 4 minutes 30. I'm on the left of the screen, Abbie on the right, and Kerry on the left :)

We had a LOT of fun, we're looking forward to Barcombe Bonfire this coming saturday.

What is everyone enjoying right now?
I'm just about to start a new book (Jenny Colgan's "Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop of Dreams"), I'm crocheting a neckwarmer (I've finished making a 13 foot long scarf)
I'm enjoying taking a lot of long walks lately. (I'm hopefully going out with friends tomorrow)

Friday, 2 November 2012

So that was no post October?!

Guess who forgot she'd started a blog? What a silly egg I am.

We're not even a full 48 hours into November, and I'm already contemplating my New Years resolutions. So I've decided to stuff the New Years part of it, and just work on some improve-me resolutions.

1. Get back to recording what I eat. I've had some fluctuations in mood and energy levels, and I need to work out what causes the slumps, and get it out of my system. My body is a temple, so I should only accept the best of sacrifices right?!

2. Keep up with the Gratitude journal. There are always things to be grateful for, whether it's something small like a nice view from the window, or something bigger it's always worth making a note of.

3. Exercise more. I've fallen into a slump because I move around a lot at work, but a half hour's Wii Fit isn't going to kill me.

4. Try and keep the negative feelings to a minumum.

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Saturday Smiles

And lo, the wanderer returns!

What are you thankful for today? I'm feeling incredibly blessed lately.

Seeing wildlife up close and personal while walking into town with my friend Tracy, who took these cute pictures of this little dormouse eating blackberries after we'd dropped our daughters to school. Ms Mouse was truly enchanting to watch, and so tame, we weren't more than 15cm away from her when these photos were taken!

Time with lovely people.
Friends are amazing, and I've really been blessed with some awesome friendships. I've met people from far and wide, and I've had some great times. Lots of playing in play parks (sometimes even with a child involved!), complaining about the RUDEST PUB IN THE WORLD, sitting in a park in London talking and eating sweeties, watching movies on my sofa, deep discussions with friends over coffee. All these times with people are a blessing, knowing that you're not alone, and that people care, it's such an amazing feeling.

Love. I'm not in love in a romantic sense (not yet at least... who knows what tomorrow holds?), but I'm blessed with love still. I love my daughter, and I know she loves me, even when she's wearing her grumpy pants. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the fuzzy little crackpot we call Mymble, and as you might guess from my previous paragraph..  I love my friends.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

House Rules

Did you have house rules when you were young? Do have rules for your own household now? How do you deal with behaviours and attitudes you find unacceptable within the house?

I'm lucky, my daughter is generally a delight to be around, but as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said -

(There was a little girl, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead,

... When she was good, she was very, very good
But when she was bad she was horrid.

I'm not expecting perfection from her, Until I am permanently perfect, I can't expect others to be, after all; however I'm just asking for a decent set of manners, and to be listened to somewhat.

I'm going to sit with Abbie this afternoon, and discuss house rules. I think it's important to involve her in the writing of the rules. If she feels that they're something she helped decide on, maybe she'll stick to them better?

Sunday, 16 September 2012

5 reasons I'm glad to be alive

  1. I'm getting to see Abbie grow up. I love this kid so much, she is living proof that good can come from bad. She inspires me, frustrates me, delights me all at once sometimes. Sometimes it's been really difficult being a lone parent. I don't think I've been too alone on this journey though. My father, Aunt ( Allso Lizzy ), and Uncle, and Grandparents have all been so much help. More than I deserve, I swear.
  2. Really ties in with #1. My family. I'm honestly so blessed with them. They are heaven sent. They say you can't choose your family, and it's a good job. I don't think I'd have been able to choose as well as the ladies and gents I've got.
  3. Coffee... Lets face it, I'm foul without it. I don't end up with excess caffeine in my blood system, I have excess blood in my caffeine system.
  4. My friends. I really love my friends. Whether the penpals who I've been writing to for over a decade, or the mum-friends I've made at the school gate. This is the first time in my life that I've felt like I have friends who really want me around (I certainly didn't feel that during my school years)
  5. Myself... I'm sorting out my issues, and really starting to enjoy my life. I think that's pretty awesome, don't you?

Thursday, 13 September 2012

En route to three

So, at Weightwatchers on Tuesday I got the news I'd been waiting to hear. I have officially lost 2 stone now. Not 1 stone 13.5lb where I had been stuck for the best part of the month (sneak peak on the scales shows I've lost 2st2 as of today, hopefully that'll stay that way til next Tuesday). I'm pleased with my progress. My health has already had some big improvements.

I don't get out of breath climbing the stairs behind my flat.
My ankles aren't puffy and retaining water anymore. For the first time in half a decade.
I haven't had half as many headaches as I used to.
Since my boobs shrunk a size my backache isn't so bad.

I definitely plan to carry on with this. I know some people are judgemental, and think that anyone who doesn't accept the body they've got is an asshole, and if you wanna call me an asshole, hey I'm an arsehole.(Because I'm British, lets use the right word, right?). I wonder why people get their pants in a twist about weightloss..... dying your hair, getting piercings and tattoos are changing your body too. So lets not double standardise ourselves right?

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Inspiration Sunday

To anyone reading this...

What inspires you? Do you get inspiration from big things, small things, everything or nothing?

I used to have such a negative head on my shoulders that I don't think I saw inspiration anywhere. It's been a long journey to see the positives in my life, and learn that even the littlest things can be an inspiration. I'm glad I managed to change my mindset.

So, what inspires me?

1. Laughter.
If something makes me laugh, my spirits are immediately boosted, and I find myself wanting to pass on the endorphins, and hopefully make someone else laugh. I've always loved sitcoms, I've been rediscovering some old faves lately.
The IT Crowd. Image shows from L to R: Moss (Richard Ayoade), Jen (Katherine Parkinson), Roy (Chris O'Dowd). Image credit: TalkbackThames.

2. Walking

Whether it's an aimless trip up on the South Downs to clear my head, or walking around local towns playing tourist and taking photos walking is great for inspiration. It gives me time to think and not concentrate on anything other than my thoughts (and not getting TOO lost)

3. Music
Whether it's listening to the amazing music other people have made, or making some of my own I find music so inspiring. It's a real rarity that there is no music playing in my house. Even right now, my little one is asleep, so I have Deine Lakaien pumping straight into my ears courtesy of my mp3 player. One of the best gifts my Dad gave me was to tell me never to say no to a type of music until I'd at least tried a couple of songs. I know it's a cop out to say that you like "all" music, but barring some mindless thud thud thud club music I have to say I do love a lot of music. And it's such inspiration, whether some heavy rock with a big drum beat for me to jog along with, or a beautiful soaring piece of classical to just lay down and chill out to, or some sweet bouncy twee indie-pop to dance around the house and clean to, it's amazing how music can inspire you.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Reliving my youth

Summer Holiday ends today. The little'un is back to school tomorrow, so today while she was firmly ensconced in playing with her dolls I fired up my Xbox (Crystal one <3) and played a bit of Fable. I first got this game when it originally came out, and have always had a major soft-spot for it.

 We went to Newhaven Fort too, somewhere I haven't been since I was around Abbie's age. We had a lovely time, here are some of the photos. Abbie, and then abbie and I at the entrance :)

Abbie stood infront of the searchlight.

Abbie, Grandad Beebee and I stood infront of one of the guns

Part of the WWII display

The Air Raid Display - Showing 2 shelters, and people being dug out. We also got to go into a simulated air-raid. It was scary enough knowing we were perfectly safe, but that this was real life for Nanny Beebee and Nanny Penguin during the war

Grandad looking out to Sea over West Beach

Abbie in an empty Gun station.

From a similar angle. On a totally whole other note, this used to be a little playground with dodgem motorbikes and a small arcade and cafe. It was still open in 2007 when I lived in Newhaven, but had shut down and been demolished since. It's ever so weird to see it like this, I have some amazing memories of that place.

Friday, 31 August 2012

'Fankful Friday

So of course, the first Thursday I intend to do "Thankful Thursday" I'm so tired I just zombie out infront of Youtube, and then in bed. So here it is belatedly. Hurrah for my accent meaning it just about works on Friday too.

I am thankful for:

It's a big one, and an obvious one, to me at least. But my family are always supportive, usually understanding, and always there with hugs and love.

I don't have caffeine in my blood supply. I have blood in my caffeine supply. It's keeping me sane (or something approaching that) lately.

Charity Shops.
Feeding my love of books, without bankrupting me.

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Health, Wealth and Happiness.

I don't seem to have much luck on changing the 2nd of these (though ask me Saturday morning after the Euromillions haha), but the 2 Hs are works in progress that I'm happy about.

I'm still that half a pound off 2 stone lost that I was 2 weeks ago, I gained 2lb and lost it again in that time, I'm persevering, and I really hope to see that half a pound off this coming tuesday. I'm having great fun helping out at the Holiday Club that my church runs, and running about, singing, dancing and the such is definitely good exercise.

The happiness is coming along too. Instead of waiting around for things to make me happy, I've decided to tell my brain just to be happy for small things. We don't need huge great things to make us happy. Isn't being alive enough? Sitting in the park watching the plants "dance" together in the breeze, hearing a song we love, recieving a text from a good friend, a good cup of tea. It doesn't need to be huge to make us happy.

I'm counting my blessings every day. I am going to try and do thankful thursday from now on :)

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Waffle Zwei


I had an awesome time with Cash and Kerri, but I didn't take many photos, I'm just rubbish at remembering to do it. I also wasn't having a particularly brilliant few days as far as self-esteem is concerned.

I miss the girls already!

I was quite embarassed this week though. I took them out twice, once to a pub, and once to a cafe, and in both we had awful service.

The pub, you could kinda expect, it was the only one in its area, it didn't have competition... though I was still disappointed.

The Cafe? Disgusted me, honestly. Excuse after excuse, and I don't think we heard the word sorry once, even though it left one of our table of friends eating nothing.

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Waffle #1

I'm so excited!! In less than 24 hours Cash and Kerri will be with me <3 These 2 ladies are lovely. I've met up with Kerri once before (in Liverpool) and with Cash twice (Liverpool and Lewes) - This is me and Cash on the swings outside my flat...

And this is Kerri, Me and Cash in a museum in Liverpool :D

Tomorrow (Thursday) we're going to Brighton, and if the weather prevails, we'll be (hopefully) catching the 77 up to Devils Dyke... I love riding on the open air bus (preferably in good weather of course).

Then on Friday we're going up to London together to meet up with a group of girls we know from RTAs (reply to all email groups)

The rest of this week looks set to be lovely.

Also, today I met my friends son for the first time. He is perfectly gorgeous, and so well behaved. He fell asleep on me (and farted on me twice, just to cement our friendship) and gave me a big wet kiss... well, he dribbled on me. No pictures as he's not mine, and it's not my place to share pictures. But he's just the loveliest child.

Monday, 20 August 2012

Whewwwwwww is it baking or is it just me?

Today is a bunch of Fives.

5 songs that have been in my head lately:

1. Gruff Rhys - Ni Yw Y Bid

2. David Tomlinson & Angela Lansbury - The Beautiful Briny Sea

3. Secret - Shy Boy
4. Gorky's Zygotic Mynci - Iechyd Da
5. Tullycraft - Sweet

5 teas I've enjoyed lately:

Tetley Vanilla Redbush

Twinings Earl Grey 

Clipper  Green Tea  With Lemon

Lifeboat Tea 

MeƟmer Zimtstern - Orange

Sunday, 19 August 2012


Well, there has been progress. I've now lost 27.5lb/12.5kg!

I'm still a long way from my eventual goal, but it's a steady loss, and I'm definitely happy :)

Good Old Sussex By The Sea...

So... yesterday things were meant to happen, that didn't happen. Slightly disappointing, not wholly surprising, and thanks to buying a scratchcard to break a note for the bus, I had £15 to treat myself and the wee one to a day out.

So we went to Hastings. We live 45 minutes down the train tracks from Hastings, and with my Friends and Family Railcard (something I *TOTALLY* recommend to anyone with children) It was less than £8 for the train...

As you might possibly (hopefully) just be able to make out from this photo... £6.75 for my return, and £1 for Bee.

It was a beautifully warm day, so I wore a pink t-shirt, cut off denim skirt, blue leggings and basketball shoes, while this crazy child decided to wear a pretty  tunic top, grey jeggings and knee high boots. I have no idea how her brain works, and she didn't want to change, so this is how we went. Can you tell the family resemblance? We've got the same nose, and almost identical hair colours, though I think she's got her fathers eyes, in shape at least. Photos like this always shock me a little, as I swear she doesn't look like a seven year old right there.

She was extremely well behaved waiting for the train (we had a 20 minute wait thanks to someone before us in the queue dithering like heck.), we went to the station shop, and treated ourselves to a cheeky vanilla coke, thanks to the US import stand.

I've no idea why we can't get this in this country anymore. Though I can't claim to have always been a huge fan, as I don't remember it disappearing from our shelves. I've always been a cherry cola lady.

And then we were on the train. Going past Mount Caburn we saw some paragliders(?) (VERY brave individuals in my not hugely-liking-heights opinion)

And within 45 minute we were in Hastings. I wish I'd taken more pictures while we were in Hastings. We'll defnitely go again though, and I'll make sure to do it next time.

First stop - The Cliff Lifts. Both Abbie and I like our railways, we're always game for a day-trip out by train. So catching the train, to ride a train is a bit of a double whammy for us.

The East and West Hill Cliff Lifts are a pair of Funicular Railways in Hastings. The East Hill lift being the Funicular Railway with the steepest gradient in the UK. (78 degrees for anyone interested)

 You enter the West Hill Lift here on George Street, surrounded by a lot  of antiques and book shops in Hastings Old Town...

And up you ride....

The West Hill Lift is mostly in tunnel.

Here's Abbie's spoken tour. I'm sorry the sound isn't very good, we didn't realise how noisy it was until after we were home and had started to put everything onto the computer.

 When we got to the top we went to have a look around... We didn't go into Hastings Castle, but had a look around, and took some photos from the top of the hill before riding the Lift back down to George Street and walking through old town to the East Hill Lift.

It was a scorching hot day, so we were both drinking from huge bottles of water to keep ourselves cool, but I still ended up raspberry red in the face. Always happens. I blush super quick too!

The East Hill Lift is a much sunnier, and definitely much steeper journey...

Despite not being a huge fan of heights (as aforementioned), I did take a photo from the end of the carriage.

Funiculae... Funicular... Funiculucking long way DOWN!

You do get some fabulous shots!!

Given the heat, we, of course, had to get Mr Whippy... Abbie certainly enjoyed this one, though I have to say, I did prefer my blue vanilla one that I had down at the sea front.

And then it was time to go down.

We were feeling overheated (Abbie) and lazy (Me) by the time we got to the bottom, so I took this lovely shot of Abbie by one of the fishing boats.

Then we caught the bus up to the train station...

And decided to hop a train to Battle.

Where Abbie posed with the Abbey sign. (Should have got her to cover Abbey too)

And a very tired Abbie had a rest outside Battle Abbey, before we bought a walking stick badge for her Great Grandad, and caught 2 trains home to Lewes and were treated to a slap up dinner thanks to Nanny and Grandad (or Great Nanny and Great Grandad as they are to Abbie, just don't tell them that!)

I would have taken pictures of my pizza, only I think I inhaled it before I had chance to take a picture.

But what a lovely day, and from such unpromising a start!